Lesson #4 - The Ultimate Test of Leadership: Positive Change
Question #1 When you have to deal with change imposed on you by someone else, how does it usually make you feel? How do you respond? How do you respond to self-imposed changes?
Question #2 What is the most difficult change you’ve had to go through either professionally or personally?
Please respond to the above questions and respond to “at least” two responses.
**** This week, compliment or acknowledge someone who has assisted you in changing!
Question #1
ReplyDeleteWhen I have dealt with change in the past, especially critical change, I found myself wanting to say “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!” It made me feel uncomfortable and that I would lose what I already had. I would ask questions and try to understand it better before I overreacted. I would discuss my concerns with my peers and think about the positive changes it would bring. I have begun to understand that change is necessary. In looking at organizations, if they are to stay relevant in today’s world that is constantly changing and complex leaders must be innovative and have adaptive behaviors that embrace change. Change is important if they are to remain competitive and in our district's mission and vision change is important if we wish to fully support and serve our community and meet their needs. If we were to neglect and dismiss change, we would constitute failure. Organizations that embrace change and can innovate, they can be better to perform through hardships. Those who resist change will face adversity. When responding to self-imposed change I acknowledge the change, recognizing and accepting change is the first step towards managing it. Managing it and thinking about the change allows me to set goals, hypothesize the unknown, Understanding the elements of change allows me to face fears, understand the complexity, and leverage my team for support. Communication is essential to self imposed change as well.
Mark, I remember Chief Alan Brunacini saying that Firefighters hate two things.... "they way things are and change". As funny as that statement is, I couldn't agree more with that sediment more. I too am guilty of resisting change. As we forge ahead in the Fire Service I think it is critical that we always look to see how we can improve our craft and stay relevant. That may come at the cost of making significant changes.
DeleteI have found that statement by Brunancini to be true, somewhat. There are some pieces to unpack in that quote. From my experience, the change I’ve seen that were sought for have been things we really didn’t have the influence or opportunity to bring change. Almost existential issues. The change I’ve seen resisted has come from above us (management or city leadership). I think this comes from a desire to control things that we really cannot. Our profession is a lot about bringing control to tempestuous situations. This causes us to have an expectation that we have control over many things, when we truly do not. Therein lies a dichotomy.
DeleteQuestion #2
ReplyDeleteSomething I always tell my kids is “It’s easy to do the wrong thing, it’s harder to do the right thing”. An example of this can be seen in emergency callbacks. It’s very easy to just tell yourself “someone else will go in, I’m busy” and ignore the text message. It is a lot harder to drop everything your doing, break the news to your wife and kids, and ruin plans you may have had. I have regularly tried to “practice what I preach”. I believe this is especially true when we are in the rank of Captain. As a leader, we have people looking at us for direction, and if we don’t follow our own rules we will lose integrity and most importantly the trust of our team and our leaders.
Please ignore this answer, this was my answer to question 2 lesson 3.
DeleteIt is so important that as leaders we create positive change. I believe the key to that statement is the word positive. Many make changes in an organization, but if it doesn't positively impact the organization, then what's the point? The best thing to change isn’t always practices…it’s your mentality. If you CANNOT change your mentality, your organization won’t be able to, either.
ReplyDeleteThe most difficult change that I have gone through occurred during a most difficult time in my life. During my most personally challenging year, I changed in a way that affected me both personally and professionally. I struggled during a year that included a death of a friend, the death of two family members, sustaining a significant personal injury that required major surgery, having my mother and wife go through huge medical issues requiring hospitalization, and watching others who scored below me on a promotion exam getting promotions as I expired on that same list. In a year that had so many hard experiences, personal losses, and disappointments, I was taught to submit, and understand that I do not control everything in life. I learned to adjust my focus away from trying to control things that I didn't have control over, to trying to affect the things that I did have influence over. Most of the time, the thing that we have control of is how we move forward from difficulties and changes. This change affected me personally, and consequently resulted in effecting every other aspect of my life.
Mike thank you for sharing your story with us. I too have had many struggles over the past few years and like you realized there are things that are out of our control but what we can control is how we respond to them. I read a book a couple years ago about a navy seal who had to overcome a fear of heights and what helped him overcome that challenge was a simple phrase of "just stay in your 3-foot world". Your 3-ft world is what you can control, your actions, your response, your focus and how you can move forward. This has helped me get past obstacles in my life.
DeletePowerful Mike and sorry you had to experience all of that. I don’t work for you directly but with the Honor Guard, pipes and drums. I never noticed a lot of your struggles and I commend you for that. You seemed to handle as we all should. That’s what I saw at least and hope to be the same example as challenges arise.
DeleteMike, thank you for sharing your story and difficult time with us. I am truly sorry you had all of that occur, as it would difficult for any of us. I think you made some great points about many things being out of our control and that we sometimes need to submit. I also like your point about the thing that we do have some control over is how we recover from the challenge.
DeleteQuestion #1. When I have to deal with change imposed on me by someone else my first thought is WHY? Did I do something wrong? Wait I am not perfect? HaHa. I think it depends on what the change is in regards to and is it a job related change? In my 15 years at CVFD I have seen many changes and I have had many changes in my own life. Both good and bad and I think back tosome of those in both work and personal and how my view of change has changed. I used to find myself always always always asking but why? Why do we need squads? why are we losing a 4th FF on an Engine, why are we so worried about staying relevant? we offer the best service and so on. As time has gone on you start to see things differently and understand my way or view is not the best and maybe there are better ways to do things and provide service. Part of that to I think is the good old phrase "What do firemen hate the most"? CHANGE and the way things are!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJoel, I really liked the section in the book when Maxwell spoke of our responsibilities as leaders for reviewing what our team does and to look for what needs to be changed:
DeleteIf you've done something for one year-look at it carefully
If you've done it for two years-look at it with suspicion
If you've done it for five years-stop looking at it and do something to change it
Oh man, can you imagine if we did that in the Fire Service at all levels. Sadly, we would probably have a coup on our hands, but I don't think it needs to be that way.
How do we take steps to start seeing change as a positive and not the "boogie man"?
To be honest Chief, I think of the saying "if it ain't broke then why fix it" For many years that was my mentality right or wrong it just was. Over the years I have seen and heard so many of our own immediately jump to there own conclusion of why certain changes are happening without any facts just speculation. Unfortunately many were older senior members whose voice carried a lot of weight and before you knew it the rumors and speculations were spreading like wildfire. i have learned to formulate my own opinion and not be so influenced so easily.
DeleteChief Cooke, that part of the book stood out to me as well. To start taking steps in the right direction I believe we, as leaders, not only need to accept change but encourage it. I believe change is healthy and helps us stay relevant. Something that has stuck with me since I was hired with the district is how great of a place this is and how we would never want someone to take that away from us. Especially in times of a financial crisis, people are looking to cut costs, how can we as a district stay relevant and prove our worth. We have to consistently look to change and improve. We can't stay stagnant.
DeleteQuestion #2, Hands down the most difficult change I have had to go thru is extremely personel but it would be a divorce. Never in a million years did I think I would be single raising 2 little kids but here I am. I could write for hours about that experience but do not want to put you all to sleep. My world was turned upside down in an instant. I have learned so much about myself and my strength to overcome some of the hardest days of my life. I have done a lot of self reflecting in so many areas and I truly have come out the other side a better person and father to my kids. I appreciate the support shown to me by many of you it has helped me continue to heal.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing an being vulnerable. It so great to see that you are stronger as a result of adversity.
DeleteJoel, thank you for sharing your story with all of us. We worked together during a period of this and I saw you go through some of the stages of grief. This I know was an incredibly difficult time for you. It had to be a time of great uncertainty in your life. One thing that stood out was your unwavering support and desire to be a good father to Morgan and Jake. Your character shines here buddy! You showed courage and dedication. You have proven to stay true the people and things that matter most to you.
DeleteJoel,
DeleteTo echo what Travis said in the post above, real character shines in times of despair and challenge. There has never been a better example of this statement. Despite what you went through, your continued leadership and love of the job never wavered. The fact you weathered this and came out stronger is a true testament to the character you possess.
Joel in the face of uncertainty, hardship, and struggles you have come out of this a better man. Both Morgan and Jake are lucky to have a father who loves them and devotes all his efforts into making their lives better. I've told you before at breakfast I commend you for being a great father and growing as a person. The fact you planned a princess birthday party all by yourself for Morgan and it was awesome says enough.
DeleteI'm proud of you Joel. You, Staci and the kids are very dear to us. I could not imagine how hard it would be to go through something this difficult but I will say one thing, you handle yourself well and the positivity shows when I see you with the kids.
DeleteLesson 4 question 1.
ReplyDeleteI feel I am at a constant state of self reflection. I’m always wondering what people think of me, most importantly as a Captain. When someone tells me of something I need to change I usually take it pretty hard. Not to say I don’t appreciate the advice, I just feel like I failed somewhere. I feel like I should have known better to recognize it.
My response is to say thank you and sometimes sorry. I do what I can to worn on it, usually find a book that can guide me to be better in that area.
It reminds me of the Johari window model. There are areas known to self and not known to self, blind spots and the unknown. When someone tells me of a change I need to make, I know that person truly cares.
Kyle, I think it's great that you bring up the Johari Window Model. The blind spots and unknown are very difficult because we may not be aware of them or know that others are aware. To compound it, people tend not to point out or share our weaknesses with us. Sometimes we probably think we are alone with our struggles but that is simply not true. We all have them! Try to remember, YOU have many strengths...put your focus there even while working on areas of change.
DeleteThanks Travis.
DeleteKyle, I like your thinking when it comes to people providing feedback. I become worried when people stop providing feedback, especially when it comes to changes I need to make. I take that as people no longer valuing me or what I think and that is dangerous place to be as a leader (in my opinion)
DeleteLesson 4, Question 1
ReplyDeleteI think change brings on a “staged” response in all of us and certainly know that it is that way for me. Obviously some changes have much more gravity than others, but never the less they all bring on various emotions before we can get to acceptance. The best I can liken it to would be the stages of grief and that may be a poor example because most changes are not grieving, but hear me out. In the grief process there are five stages; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Not all stages are always gone through and some are very short. I do feel that with some changes, some of these emotions are brought out. When a change is first presented we may be in denial, angered by or bargain with the idea. Usually it takes productive conversation, trial, implementation and time to accept change. I truly believe that the orchestrator of the change has to do a lot of leg work if they want it to be successful. This comes by presenting an idea, supporting it through conversation, allowing people to poke holes in it and then developing a good roll-out. Change can at times be difficult but necessary for growth and continued success.
To answer the questions; for me change imposed by others is more difficult because it takes time to get a grasp on the what, when, WHY and how. It is much more likely for me to go through some of those stages. Self-imposed changes are probably easier to accept because they are my own thoughts. I’m not sure they are easier on the implementation side however. This part takes effort on breaking habits or making it the new normal.
I hear you Travis. The 5 stages of grief are a perfect example. They exist and they are real. I can relate that to advice and addiction. Well said. Thank you
DeleteLesson 4 question 2.
ReplyDeleteThe most difficult change for me was to stop drinking. I had personal and professional struggles and chose to try and mask them with alcohol. It wasn’t hard to stop drinking it was hard to manage the struggles without numbing them. In order to save my marriage and my job I had to make a change.
I was referred to a faith based group for addiction and the journey began. Theres nothing like walking into a meeting like that for the first time. The thing is everyone there had been on my shoes and knew how to make me feel welcome and supported.
I spend a lot of time wondering the damage I did to my kids and my wife. Is it repairable? Will it bight me in the ass one day? Ive heard the phrase “the sins of the Father are visited upon the children” I pray everyday my change to be a better Father and Husband erases the memories from days of drinking.
Professionally I worry about the same things. Is my behavior remembered or forgiven? Like Mike Reilly said in a previous post it has to be “genuine”. I genuinely care about our organization enough to take ownership in wrong doings and take the appropriate steps to repair relationships and be there to support others through Peer support.
I have to recognize my wife for her unwavering support, forgiveness and love. My kids for their love, Matt Fiorenza as a source to learn from and who guides me to steps of recovery from his experiences. Im also appreciative of the support form our personnel.
Kyle, thank you for sharing your story with us. You have shown your character to include courage, humility, honesty and dedication! I won't pretend act as if I know how real these struggles are for you but I think it's tremendous that you are talking about and dealing with them.
DeleteThanks for sharing Kyle. Your story is more helpful to people than you will ever fully understand.
Delete1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
Thank you Mark and Travis.
DeleteKeep up the fight because the "Evil One" will use your past to haunt you. Thanks for sharing
DeleteThanks for sharing Kyle. I couldn't agree more with all of the previous responses.
DeleteKyle, I can't tell you enough what your vulnerability means to me personally. The "sins of the father" are traits that we as fathers give to our kids. When we don't work on our problems, when we ignore our character defects, when we dismiss our shortcomings, we pass these things on. However, that is not what you are doing. You have drawn a line in the sand, you have chosen to fight, you have practiced courage. This is the legacy that your kids will see. They will see the fruit of your hard work. Instead of trying to relate to a "perfect, strong man with no struggles", they will see a broken man that is being made whole. They will see a man changing. They will see their true hero. That is something that they will be able to relate to and draw strength from. These chains that were once so heavy upon you have been broken. Brother, as you continue to grow and overcome, that is what your family is going to see. It's what I see.
DeleteLesson 4, Question 2
ReplyDeleteThe most difficult change I had to got through effected me both personally and professionally. In 2016, the City of Upland began talking about out sourcing fire services to San Bernardino County Fire. Upland Fire Department was my home, I started there as an explorer in 1998, rose through the ranks, knew everyone and their families well and loved working for the organization. That was all turned upside down causing massive changes in my life. My overall ability to provide, stability in a career, knowing what the future held and many more things were in question. My “comfort” was no more. In addition to this, a tight knit family of firefighters began to break apart. There was once a common goal that we all shared in the progression of Upland Fire Department. That was fractured, people no longer wanted the same things and were not fighting for a common goal. This caused a great deal of in-fighting, friends became enemies. The morale, once positive, turned extremely negative. People no longer cared about their “brothers and sister” and were looking out for themselves. To say the least it was ugly and a miserable time to go through, a time that I do not wish for anyone. In addition to this, I made the decision to leave, start over at Chino Valley Fire District and put myself through tremendous stress in new beginnings. Again, my ability to provide as a father and husband were challenged. Many adjustments had to be made because we had become accustomed to a certain level of money and freedom. We got “comfortable”. I don’t think I could have anticipated many of the emotions and trials I would go through starting over. Not only did my position change, but so did a culture I was familiar with, faces, names, way of doing things, time commitments to work (my success) and much, much more. I do want all of you to know that I have been treated extremely well in this organization and I am grateful for all of you who helped me become part of this family. Most of my struggles were for me to go through. One thing that was very difficult during probation was the feeling of not being “one of the guys”. Not being able to participate in the banter or even share opinions about things. It was eye opening and challenging. I certainly felt like I was being held at an arms length until getting off probation. As for my ability to provide…it all works out. A good friend of mine once told me that 95 percent of the stuff we worry about never comes to fruition. I find this to be true and try not to get too caught up in the things that are out of my control. For me, some of this change is ongoing and it was mentioned in the book. When you start over at a new place, your reputation, worth and leadership have to be rebuilt. This has been and continues to be difficult for me because I had 19 years to build it at Upland. This is not something that happens over night and will take time. In closing, I am grateful for the change that was imposed on me. I feel blessed to be a part of this organization and have new friends and family to go through this journey with!
Travis,
DeleteYour post hits exceptionally close to home for me, and I'm sure for most of us at CVIFD, as we indeed have become a melting pot of fire departments from a crossed southern California and beyond. I, too, felt the stress of leaving an organization I was familiar with and completely sympathized with what you are saying. Conversely, it exposes the type of people we have working within our organization. Brave, dedicated, and steadfast are a few words that come to mind. To have the bravery to put yourself in an uncomfortable position, the dedication to see the long game, and the mentality to see it through. Referencing the replies from question two, all these traits will be great for leadership.
Great post Travis. I cant imagine how difficult that decision was to make being married with kids. I also struggled with not being able to be "one of the guys" on probation. I think thats one of the hardest parts about starting over.
DeleteTravis, I can relate to many of the things you stated above. I too experienced many of the same emotions and sediments when San Bernardino City Fire collapsed. I am so thankful for the refining that occurred in me personally, as a result.
DeleteQuestion #1
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, this is a strength for me; I noticed it early on as a child. I have always been apt to move on or change with little frustration or grief. As I write these words, I try to comprehend that statement myself; why would anyone want to change? My only rational answer is I subconsciously accept it as a challenge. Viewing it in this context allows me to approach it from a positive and enthusiastic point of view. Regarding self-imposed change, I think anyone who has taken at least one promotional test knows that this is an integral part of growth and continued learning. I look back at everything I thought I knew four years ago and reflect that I would not be where or even who I am today if I didn't change.
I feel as you hit it on the head, Steve. Self-imposed change is a part of learning and growth. This is how we continually develop and better ourselves and it is expressed outwardly as a positive influence on those who follow us.
Delete
DeleteSteve, I agree with you, you are one who takes change well. I noticed this when working with you on the E board. You always would turn a negative situation iin a positive direction. Change is not easy but it helps when you work with people who embrace change and look at the positives that it can bring to the district.
Question #2
ReplyDeleteInitially, the first thing that came to my mind was the birth of our first son, Jacob. Before becoming a father, I heard the mantras "kids change everything," and frankly, I've come to find out "you truly don't know until you know." Until July 13, 2012, my wife and I lived a completely carefree and selfish lifestyle like everyone else in their early twenties. We took extravagant trips to foreign countries, spent way too much money on everything that didn't matter. Fast forward to that fateful day; I can say wholeheartedly it was not the most difficult, but the most significant since.
It’s not selfish steve it’s what you do with people you care about. Get those trips done before the next phase of life. For Gina and I we had kids at a young age so when they reach older teenage years we can start traveling. Of course we want our kids with us as we travel but some trips are for us to continue to strengthen our marriage. You’ll be there again brother.
DeleteThe unknown is Kyle. Forgot to change it.
DeleteLesson4. Q1.
ReplyDeleteChange imposed upon me by others can be challenging, usually due to lack of understanding the purpose or the need driving the change. Most of my experiences with this has been at work. Usually my response is that I don’t understand the why. Sometimes, due to my delivery, my wanting to understand the why comes across as questioning authority. DC Williams has been really helpful for me in identifying this challenge. He’s helped me to understand how I can seek answers without questioning authority, rather to frame my questions to convey my curiosity or genuine desire for understanding.
Self-imposed changes are different, in that, I already have the leaders intent (task, purpose, end state). Therefore, accepting the ideal is much easier since I’ve already bought into the need for change and the benefit of change.
Lesson 4. Q2.
ReplyDeleteI would say my journey to becoming a company officer has been the most challenging! I started this journey in 2013 by opening my acting captain task book and eventually taking the 2013 captain test. This current testing process is the fourth I’ve undertaken for the captain position. I have learned a lot about myself, about leadership and my leaders. I’ve grown to be a better person and a better influencer. Even though there is no guarantee that I’ll be successful on this test, I am confident. I could go on and on about this 8 year process of self-improvement but I’ll share this with you all. My son was going through basic infantry training for the US Army when I took my first captains test. Our communication with him was limited to writing letters. How many of you have done that this millennium? I would write to him and describe my preparation, the testing process and my absolute confidence that I would “get a job” from that list. Well, I’ve “died” on 2 lists and failed my last captains test since writing those letters. Those are some big pieces of humble pie! Usually people get better scores with each test. That was not the case with me. Have another piece of that pie.
Having influence in my son’s life, I’ve had opportunity to use this journey, to encourage him. This journey has NOT been easy for me, but I’ve determined that my failures will not define me. In fact, my position does not define me either. My identity is held in Christ Jesus and He’s called me to leadership in my career and after. Because its my desire to fulfill everything I’m called to in my career, I chose to continue my pursuit of becoming a company officer, even after the devastating news that I failed my last test. 2020-won, here I come!
The role model and perseverance you are showing him is something you should be darn proud of Arn.I reflect back on how many entry level tests I took before finally getting a job and it is extremely humbling. You think you have done all the right things and worked your tail off but each thanks but no thanks made me learn and grow until it all finally came together. Proud of your determination man.
DeleteArn,
DeleteYou have always shown great character and you continued dedication on this journey is only one of them. You are resilient, intelligent and honest. I'm certain the lessons you are teaching your son, directly or indirectly, are valued.
I know you will be a great captain and I'd be lucky to work with you. Keep up the good fight!
Arn,
DeleteYou are exactly right...your position does not define you. You are an inherent leader. In 2018 I had the privilege of working with you and it was tremendously impactful on me. I learned so much from you and often reflect on the fellowship and time we spent challenging one another. Thank you for your friendship, insight, and guidance.
Wow Arnie. Thanks for that. Something my step Dad always told me was “endeavor to persevere.” It’s not what I wanted to hear at the time. As I’ve gotten older I always think of during times like this. Press on brother. You’ll get there.
DeleteThose are very hard lessons and we sometimes do not know why we have them. I do know that we get stronger by those experiences. You are being prepared for great things just make sure you notice them along the way. Your race may have turned into a marathon but the prize is bigger at the end. Keep stretching those chicken legs because the finish line is approaching!
DeleteThanks Joel.
ReplyDeleteLesson 4. Question#1 When ever change is imposed on me by someone else I generally will look at the change from a distance and analyze it, There are times I agree with the changes and there are times I don’t agree with the changes. If the change is affecting me to the point of just not willing to accept it then I will try to work with who made the changes and explain my concerns with the hope of coming to a compromise. We all have had change imposed on ourselves especially to achieve a goal, although the change may seem overwhelming at first, but as you figure out solutions to the changes it becomes easy to adapt and make a lot of progress.
ReplyDeleteLesson4. Question#2 A difficult change I had was transitioning from a Fire explorer, to Student Worker, to Reserve Firefighter, and then two a full time FF/PM. As I moved up in the positions came more responsibility along with more pressure to do things right and do it right the first time. As I moved through these positions there were fellow employees who helped and guided me through these ranks.( For which I am forever grateful they mentored me.) These transitions were hard in the fact that I put a lot of pressure on myself not to disappoint them.
Yeah Brian, we put a lot more pressure on ourselves than others do. Keep at it!
DeleteBrian I agree problems seem overwhelming. Whats neat is as we go through life, problems don't become smaller, we become bigger. They don't get easier we just get tougher. They don't disappear we just grow to see past them. HAHA you get what I'm saying. (flexing arm emoji)
DeleteQuestion #1 - I believe change is inevitable. Change is necessary to grow and flourish. Not only within the district, but within ourselves. When I am faced with change, what’s most important to me is how it is presented. If I feel as if change is being forced upon me, my natural tendency is to fight back. I need time to accept and understand change.
ReplyDeleteI openly accept self-imposed change. It is a trait that I would consider one of my strengths. It might come through a lot of self-doubt, but I am constantly looking to grow, develop, and improve my character. To be a better me and be able to set a good example as a father, husband, friend and a leader.
I agree Mike, One of the most challenging parts of change is how its presented. I have a much easier time excepting change if its explained to me and I understand the reason for it.
DeleteQuestion #2 – The most difficult change that I have had to face was the realization that what I was doing wasn’t working, I wasn’t on the right track. What I mean by that, as I referenced in an earlier post, is that I took a lot of pride in being technically good at my job. I thought that’s all I needed to succeed. When people tried to steer me in the right direction I would brush them off and hold no value into what they were saying. Being able to identify and accept my weaknesses was truly humbling, but I’ve grown so much because of it. After the last captain’s promotional exam, I wasn’t invited to the first round of interviews and was disappointed in it. I spent the following year working a lot on interpersonal skills, communication and building relationships. We held the second round of interviews almost a year later, after the first round, and I was invited to those. I remember saying during that interview that if I had been invited to the first round, I would have failed. I had grown so much in that year by changing my perspective on how I was viewed by my peers and who I wanted to be. It has led to a lot of great opportunities for me that I will continue to build upon so I can develop and become a stronger leader.
ReplyDeleteMike, the hardest part in life is taking a look within and identifying something that you can improve on. Look at it not as a weakness, but something that you can improve on to be a strength alone with your technical skills.
DeleteWhat others perception about you is their reality. There are many times when some would tell me "Oh shoot, so and so bid with you, good luck". After working with those people, I found them to be really good people. The issue is sometimes we have to make our own judgments and form our own opinions. We need to give more grace and know each other more. Lets all work on that!
DeleteQuestion #1
ReplyDeleteWhen I have to deal with change imposed on me by someone else, I usually take it as a challenge. A challenge to become a better person and a challenge to myself that no matter how difficult it may be I will overcome that obstacle. I say this because I am the one usually asking for advice from others. I know I am not perfect and I expect on honest answer when I seek out help. I also know I might not like what is going to be said, so I find it as a challenge to not change who I am but to evolve into a better person. I think self-imposed change is more difficult for me. I think it is more difficult because I have no one else to hold me accountable for the change. Why am I doing this? What is my end result? I constantly ask myself these questions and usually it works itself back to my family. These changes I impose on myself are to better myself for my wife and two daughters. How can I evolve into a better husband and father? How can I evolve into a better provider for them? I think I might have just misspoken; I should have said that a self-imposed change is a difficult journey for me, until I find the purpose behind it.
DeleteTravis, I think looking at ourselves in a mirror and trying to find our weaknesses is one of the hardest things to do. Sometimes we have to depend on people around us to be honest and forthcoming so we know what we need to change about ourselves. But you are right, if we ask the questions, we have to be ready for what their response will be and we have to be willing to change. It can be a vulnerable position to be in but is needed for growth and self development.
Lesson 4, Question 1
ReplyDeleteChange is healthy, it keeps you relevant, allows you to grow as a person and as a team. When something is imposed on you, I feel like you instantly put the guards up and get defensive. When change happens, it’s ok to ask questions to better understand why the change is happening. The fire service is constantly changing to stay relevant, and provide the best service to the community’s that we serve.
Question#2
ReplyDeleteProfessionally, I’m always trying to improve on my soft skills when communicating with others. The message or content has value, but its all about the delivery. Personally, I’ve had one of the toughest years of my life. The most difficult change that I’ve had to realize is, there are things in life that you can”t control. This was hard for me to grasp and fully understand. Being in the fire service, we pride ourselves on helping people and bringing calmness to a hectic situation. I’ve had to rely on my character for guidance, to keep me in-line with my integrity. This has made me self reflect and realize that life is short, don’t get caught up with the small petty things that you think are a big deal. Maintain a positive attitude and be the best person you can be everyday.
True dat! It is all about letting the situation change you for the better. You are right life is short and with everything going on in the world, we need to not sweat the small stuff. Keep learning!
DeleteHey Tommy I like that!!! Don't get caught up in small petty stuff. Everyone only has so much mental and emotional bandwidth. Need to keep that space free of all the negative to maximize your capacity to reach your full potential.
DeleteQuestion #2
ReplyDeleteThe most difficult change I have had to go through is an ongoing battle that continues with me today. Last year on January 31st I was diagnosed with cancer. It goes without saying this was something I never expected and the flow of emotions that flooded my brain were incomprehensible. Although this was a life changing event for me it’s not the most difficult. The most difficult change I have had to endure is now, it’s trying to answer the question of what do I do now and what is next for me? You see once I got the diagnosis the fight was on and my sole focus was to beat this disease. Going through treatment took a huge toll on my body not only physically but mentally. Finally, the day came July 16, I got the best news ever. I am in remission; I beat this beast! One may think I should be extremely happy; well, I was but it didn’t last that long because I focused so hard on getting better that once the news came, I began asking myself now what do I do? What is next for me, how do I move forward, and what is my new purpose? I feel blessed to have two amazing “cancer mentors” who were there for me every step of the way and still continue to be. They say the what I am going through is a normal process and they call it a “cancer fog”. Though I continue to grow every day and I continue to physically get better the mental and emotional change that I have made is the most difficult.
Travis, we all go through something that we didn’t expect and don’t know how to navigate out of it. I can’t begin to imagine what it was like. I know it took an emotional toll on me to know that you had to go through it and I didn’t know how to help except pray. I’m extremely happy for you to be in remission. That box is checked now you can rebuild. What you can do is be the example. My issues seem minuscule compared to cancer and you never quit. Your daughters saw that. We saw that. So when I think I’m having a bad day I know it could be worse, so because of you I suck it up and press on. I’m proud of you. Thank you for fighting!
DeleteKyle, thank you! I know I've said it before but its amazing what you can accomplish when you open yourself up and allow other to be there for you and support you. We never hid anything from the girls even when I was feeling my worst and they were fighting along with me. As crazy as it sounds I know it was me who had at the diagnosis but it felt like so many went through the battle and fought with me.
DeleteTravis, you have an awesome ministry! Your scars "metaphorically" are our strength. You have become an example to all at CVFD for your endurance, commitment, and example to name a few. Many good leaders have had life changing event bringing perspective to their leadership style. Do not let those lessons go to waste and do not ever stop talking about your experiences. Give us more examples of what you have learned.
DeleteLesson 4 Question #1
ReplyDeleteWhen changes are imposed on me by others my initial reaction is to question why. Understanding the need for change usually helps me in accepting it. Some changes are frustrating and others are exciting but one thing for certain is that changes are inevitable. My response to change is an area I feel I have grown drastically in the past few years. One example of this is our CPR training. When Ryan started implementing changes to the way we do CPR it seemed excessive. Now looking back I wonder how many more positive outcomes we may have had if this change would have come 20 years ago. I think I have been a part of more CPR saves since these changes occurred then in my first 15 years as a paramedic.
Whether initiated by someone else or self imposed, dealing with any change can be difficult. I typically find change easier to accept when it is self imposed rather than when it is initiated by others. Self imposed change eliminates the “why” factor. When I impose changes on myself I usually see the need for the change before I implement it. However, change is imposed I’ve learned that if positive results are going to come from them the best way to respond is with a positive attitude.
Bobby, what you have written is very good. I especially your ending statement...If positive results are going to come from them, the best way to respond is with a positive attitude. This completely accurate. An open and positive mind always helps in the process. We have all been guilty of the opposite attitude.
DeleteThe challenge in change is that we don’t know what the outcome will be. We hope for it to be good. There may be data that suggests improvement. There may be others that have experienced benefits. The only way to know for sure is to walk it out. I feel this is where faith or trust comes into play. Take our service delivery change of adding squads for example. Or even our more recent change of medic engines only on alpha and bravo calls. The people delivering the message of change aren’t asking for our permission, but our participation. We can choose to participate with a good outlook or not. What helps me to have a good outlook is knowing that our leaders are smart and intuitive. Even more so, that they care about our community AND us.
DeleteChange can be difficult for some but necessary at times. At CVFD, for as long as I have been here, every time there was an operational change, the world was going to end such as going from light blue to dark blue uniforms, yellow to red engines, tiller truck, squads, schedules, types of training concepts, service delivery models, etc. Usually the intention of change is to make or be better. The worst is sometimes assumed but a better attempt to find out the "why" would clarify the reason. For me, improving everyday is a goal whether physically, mentally, spiritually, or relationally that change has to happen. How do we approach change is an indicator of the heart!
DeleteLesson 4 Question #2
ReplyDeleteAs mentioned in a previous post one of my most difficult changes took place when I made the decision to leave my previous place of employment. I too loved my department and the people I worked with. The city was facing budget cuts and my position was continuously threatened with lay offs. Back then getting hired anywhere was extremely difficult and the thought of leaving literally made me nauseous. I was single then but had always known I wanted to have a family. Having that as a priority I knew if I wanted to provide for a family someday I would have to make a change. Fortunately, the opportunity to apply to the CVFD presented itself and I was successful in doing so.
Question #2
ReplyDeleteWhen I injured my back in 2017 I was off work from mid-November until the end of February. This affected not only my personal life but also my professional life. I was unable to move and do my normal routine. I was never one to ask for help, now I had to depend on others. At first I would refuse the help. My wife had to do my chores around the house, I felt like a burden. I would insist that I was ok and I would get up, try to help and further injure myself. Colette would get so upset with me, She would say “You need to let us help you so you can heal.” She was right! Eventually, my back was getting better and I was able to come back to work. I told myself that I would not let my back change my work ethic, so I would jump in calls as usual and try to help lift the patients. My crew was now like my wife, telling me that I needed to relax and let them handle the heavy lifting or I would hurt myself. I had to change my way of thinking and focus on my other strengths other than my physical strength. I had to understand that it was ok to ask for help and let others help me and that didn't make me a burden but a useful team member.
You are right Mark, asking for help is hard! We are all programmed to handle everything, at least we think we handle everything. Having a different perspective is huge. There are times where we need to just ask and accept that help. Something to remember is that psychologically when someone helps there is a chemical reaction in the brain that brings pleasure. Its the same feeling we all get helping patients or someone on other emergency calls. We forget that we may rob others of feeling that when we tell them "I do not need help". I need to work on that more! Does someone want to help me with my house and school work? LOL
DeleteQuestion #2 What is the most difficult change you’ve had to go through either professionally or personally?
ReplyDeleteAlthough very blessed I have had some difficult changes In my life like everyone else has. I believe that over the years we all get better at handling things obviously. The most recent change was my mother and step father getting a divorce. it was a long time coming. Lots of stories growing up. I learned a lot growing up of what not to do. He also did teach me a lot to the best of his ability. Step dad had a lot of financial stress, which lead to alcohol abuse then turned to verbal abuse and finally physical abuse to my mom. He was my dad since I was 2 years old. I know everyone can talk the talk but when it comes down to it, the decision to call the cops on your step dad, was still a tough one. He spent some time in jail. Going forward still love him. The hard part now is keeping together a broken family. Being the father figure for my younger siblings. I am a father figure to my niece who's dad killed himself. I feel like I need to be the man for my mother and sister. Last but definitely not least be a good loving husband to my wife who's brother committed suicide and parents live out of state. Sometimes I feel like I'm spread a little thin.
Phil, thanks for sharing something so personal. You have displayed many leadership attributes in the situations you have described above. Keep leading well and you will be rewarded one day.
ReplyDeleteQuestion 1
ReplyDeleteWhen dealing with change that is imposed on myself my reactions tend to vary depending on who is imposing the change and and why the changes are being presented. When this happens my initial reaction is to self reflect and think critically as to what I may have been doing wrong and what was my reasoning behind the decisions I made.
Question 2
The most difficult change that I have recently experienced would have to be probation. Growing up in chino and being an explorer for many years with chino valley fire I was able to and lucky enough to meet and get to know some of the personnel on the floor. The hardest change for me was the transition in relationship from an advisor, or friend to now a coworker working for a professional department. I am a social person and It was a challenge to stand back and not get involved in conversations and not be “too comfortable”
Question#1
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to change imposed upon myself I think the most important question I ask is the “why” behind the change. With the reasoning behind the change understood I can see the logic behind the switch.
Question#2
A difficult change for me recently was the decision to leave my old employment. I loved the people I worked with and the relationships there will be life long, which made the decision difficult.
Question #1
ReplyDeleteWhen I deal with change when imposed by someone else such as at work, I am open and willing to change. I understand change can sometimes be challenging, but I believe it is required to become better in all aspects of our professional and personal lives.
Question #2
ReplyDeleteThe most difficult change I had to go through in my personal life was the passing of my mother nearly two years ago. The passing was unexpected and took a huge toll on myself and family. My mom along with my dad were the leaders of the family and always seemed to have the right answers for everything. The change of not having my mom here has been tremendous and life changing. I am still adjusting to becoming more of a leader in my family in place of my mom.